Milestones

Often we reach milestones in our lives, set by things like birthdays or anniversaries, graduations or other significant days and times. They help define us, help make us who we are, and in looking back at them, help us know where we are in our lives.

Some of these mark joyful times, like the birth of a child, or a wedding. And looking back on them is joyful as well. These are the bright colors in the fabric of our lives. We remember them with smiles and laughter, or deep joy. Others, like anniversaries the death of family members, or friends, the loss of a job, or the break up of a relationship, bring tears and sadness. These darker times may also be wrapped up with good memories, but the tenor of sadness or even stronger emotions color our experience of them.

Sometimes a single day can be both.

If we look at our lives like a tapestry, as one wise woman once suggested to me. We can see these threads forming the entirety of our lives. I wanted to argue that the darker times could be a tear, rather than just dark thread, or could cut the tapestry itself in two. But then I realized I was still alive, and so the whole tapestry had not been destroyed after all. And even if a place might be worn or torn, instead of just having darker thread, that too was part of the whole.

Or one might rather see it like throwing a rock into a pond. The rock might well disturb the surface, and, if big enough, even cause chaos in an otherwise tranquil body of water...But, eventually, the chaos settles, and the rock becomes part of the whole pond environment. Still there, but no longer out of place.

And so, as we go through our lives, we need to learn to celebrate the happy milestones...and remember them with fondness and joy, and we need to remember the harder milestones and learn what they have to teach, and also remember that they both form our tapestry, or become part of our ponds...and ultimately, our lives are richer for it.